What a luxury it is, to have one problem at a time. How fortuitous our luck, when a single event or emotion arises, and we have time to witness it in its entirety, to feel its vibrations move through our body, our lives, without distraction. Even as a moment ravages us, and we have the space to plummet into whatever depths necessary, how blessed we are at the base of our pit, to not have the sky entirely concealed, by further wreckage falling after us.
Of course, it doesn’t feel anything close to luck, or grace. Grief, pain, abandonment, they have a habit of insisting on exclusivity, of having us be utterly consumed by whatever devastation is occurring, blackening the sky anyway.
But when there are multiple storms headed our way, rising water lifting us up and into a sea of heavy, insistent waves, we are forced to either tread water, or drown. The death of someone cared for, the retraction of love, the loss of a career, the dissolution of hope; when multiple worlds come crashing down, any attempt to swim becomes exhausting and relentless. And although we try to keep moving, what we really need is to find land and be still. The land of conscious breath, self-awareness, connection to our higher self, sleep, other people.
It may feel like there is inherent danger in turning our back to the tide, removing the threats from our line of sight, taking attention off our inevitable future, but we must. Because it’s from the land of silence, friendship, and free flowing tears or screams, that we have the best view of the horizon. It’s from here we can see the true might of the waves, their timings, rhythms and where they hit gentlest. Here, is the place to form plans about what we take with us, back out into the water. A surfboard of prayers on which to float, or 200ft yacht of courage and protection.
Sometimes, we have to get out to see in. We have to allow the current of drama to beach us, temporarily, so we may survey the waters. The nature of overwhelm is that life will come to us all at once, too much, too fast. But if we stretch our gaze far enough, there is always land available, always. And we must turn to it.
