Author: Tori
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Your Fear is Food For The Worst Kind of Animal
There is a beast that entered this world long before any of us; when starved it remains only dormant and yet when fed, its growth is exponential. It is soundless and invisible to untrained ears or eyes and simultaneously, felt so deeply that no unmastered sense can truly function in its presence. On the rare occasion I meet with others for whom its existence is clear, there is a sigh of relief. There is the unmistakable soul-nod to how sweet life is, in this viewing gallery of awareness. Here, our foundation of certainty is not so easily shaken. Here, we…
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On Men; Reconnecting Mind and Body
There’s a key piece of information you should have been taught as a young boy; a fact that once adopted, can vastly change the course of your relationship to the entire world around you. This is where I want to begin. I want to start not with a denial of your right to ask for help, a denial of your needs as compared to another gender, race or economic status. The place we instead kick-off from is the knowledge that all feelings held within your body and your mind, are valid. They are valid in that they reveal parts…
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Perception, Crossed Wires, Lost Friendships
I had an interesting experience today. I met with a man whom I had come to know through a mutual friend; I’ll call her Lucy for the sake of this story. I knew very little about the history of their friendship but was intrigued as to how they met. What I unexpectedly found out was that they no longer speak, that James and Lucy have gently parted ways and he at least was comfortable with the new distance between them. Without prompting, he revealed what had happened to end the friendship. And whether he was justifying the demise of it…
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We Are More Than What Separates Us
One of the biggest insults | crimes | untruths leaked into the human race is the illusion of separation. The belief that we are separate from each other to various and solid degrees; gender, skin, emotion, thought. These useful and convenient layers we use to identify ourselves will make life more manageable, only until we forget they are only layers, not a summation of who we are. Imagine believing the clothes you have on are what define you. Imagine believing they make you better or different from someone else. Maybe you don’t need to imagine so much, maybe it is more…
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Pinned Post: What is Emotional Mastery?
Emotional mastery is about more than control and it has nothing to do with perfection. Emotional mastery is about observation and conscious decision making. It’s about seeing the choices that show up in your reality; in the split second before stress does, in the moment before disharmony is expressed through an argument in your relationship, in the fraction of time before you reach for the drink, the drugs, the man/woman. Emotional mastery is primarily about a self awareness so potent, you cannot help but see the alternative choices in each state you find yourself. It is about learning to act from…
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A Brave CEO is a Vulnerable CEO
There are moments that regularly arise in life, when the only two options we have are bravery or familiarity. These moments show up more often than we likely acknowledge, from the adventurous decision to swap our usual dish in our favourite restaurant, to the more impactful one of quitting the job that is slowly strangling our soul. Many pursuits of bravery we are willingly coerced into; we seek them out and are highly receptive to the list of reasons why *insert your desire here* is important, useful, necessary. We present with a show of reticence, but what we want is…
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Sometimes, Being Powerful Looks Like You’re Doing Nothing
I have a varied friends circle, I wouldn’t call it large but yes, it’s definitely wide and diverse in a lot of ways. The folks I hang out with have different faiths, beliefs, ethnicities, economic backgrounds, education levels and marriage statuses. They work in multiple industries, anywhere from teacher, exotic dancer, lawyer, barmaid, right across to retired or unemployed. What’s great is that whilst there are similarities, no two are the same and each unique soul in turn, allows for very particular parts of my own identity to emerge. Over the past year however, I’ve noticed something peculiar happen with…
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This is Why You Don’t Want to Return to Normal
For over a year the world has been desperate to return to normal. It’s all that has been spoken about, the new normal, the way things were. One of the interesting things is that for most people normal means totally different things and yet it’s now discussed as a collective desire. Whilst it may seem harmless, that obviously ‘normal’ is just a way of saying safe and happy, there is the very real chance that its ambiguity is detrimental to what’s really needed. By pouring your energy into the same pot as those wanting a return to hiding who they…
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Stop Negotiating
Stop hearing what your intuition is telling you and then rationalising it to suit what everyone else *might* want or need. You are royalty. You are sovereignty. Act like it.
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Are You Losing The Competition Against Yourself?
There are many high-flying women out here who believe success revolves around taking one’s place within previously male dominated arenas. That it means getting the same roles, earning the same pay, being afforded the same or better opportunities for growth. With this, the collective advancement of our mindset has been extraordinary, achieving positions now that a few generations ago would have seemed impossible. This is undoubtedly overdue for us, but amidst our progress as a sex, how much are we paying attention to its impact on the individual? How, amongst the triumph stories and inspirational talks, do we stop from…
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4 Ways to Learn From Your Relationship Mistakes
You will be a rare person who’s only ever had one romantic relationship in their life, and even rarer if you’ve had multiple relationships where no mistakes have ever been made. The fact is, mistakes, slip ups, indiscretions, whatever you want to call them, they all happen. We deal with them by learning, moving on and applying the knowledge to new situations we find ourselves in. Here I’ve compiled a list of some top tips for learning from your mistakes, so that in the future it’s only new ones you’re dealing with, and not repeats of the past. Acknowledge what…
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This is What is Standing Between Your Inspiration and Your Action
Inspiration. (I’m not good enough. I can’t do it. It’s the wrong time. I’m not ready. I need more training. I don’t have enough information. I don’t have enough support. I can’t do this on my own. I don’t know how. Now doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to upset her. He won’t survive without me. I don’t have enough money. It’s too expensive. I don’t have to rush. I don’t want to hurt them. It won’t work. It didn’t work last time. I’ve done enough.) Action. Stop making all that shit in the middle the end…
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Meditation is Not a Destination
Not being able to sit still and quiet the mind is one of the biggest complaints I hear from people new to meditation. Sitting down and closing one’s eyes quickly turns into an open invitation for incessant internal chatter, for reviewing the day, or mentally completing old conversations. As common as it is, it’s helpful to get a personal perspective. For this reason, one of my first questions is has your mind has really gone into sudden overdrive or, are you simply noticing the state it’s in for most of the day? If you want to break down what’s really…
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Fear is Not Action. Do Something
Love to all the people participating in global meditations, group healings, positive heart based prayer, energy work, comedy, acts of service in the community, empowerment coaching, online breakthrough therapies, body movement, positive posting, self healing, future visualising, heart based caring, news OFF heart and mind ON living. When your fear is bigger than your positive action you affect the entire world. When your positive action is bigger than your fear, you help save everything that is meant to be saved. You are filled with immense power. Power that extends beyond reposting the words ‘stay home’. Power that extends beyond waiting…
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Don’t Feel Compelled to Match Misery with Misery
It’s not that I have nothing to say. It’s just that your entire conversation is based on misery.I don’t have anything to add to that.And in your current state, you have no capacity to hold my light.Will I share my past with you? Yes, as a cautionary tale. Yes, if I think you’re ready to hold it. Yes, if it aids an experience you are currently having.But right now? My right now is good.And your misery can’t change that.And when life is not so good, my reservation may mean, that you do not have the necessary ears.It may mean, I’m…
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Sis, All That Misdirected Energy is Killing Your Dreams
Yes, you have to focus forward.But you also have to spend a minute standing still.Standing still and seeing all the baggage you’re carrying.Still. Stand still.Where is your energy leaking?What are you talking about, thinking about?What are you really running from, when you’re pretending to be running towards something else?Stand still a minute and tidy up.Tidy up your emotional house.Tidy up your legacy of pain.Tidy up your friendships.Your family.Your body.Your fear.All of it.Then move.Move. Move. Move.