Author: Tori
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Here’s Why It’s Time to Disconnect From Other People
There has been a worldwide campaign to demonstrate how we are all in ‘this’ together, how we are all global citizens. We have been told by carefully engineered marketing campaigns that we need to act for one another, keep strangers safe, do our bit, our duty, behave as if we’re sick and stay home. This symbiotic flow of togetherness has been a lifeline for many people, it has literally kept their emotions from caving in and consuming them whole. It has fostered a sense of community, in an otherwise bleak moment of their personal history. And that’s a great thing,…
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Is This Why You Fear Your Own Darkness?
Why is it you fear the dark so much, the shadows, those things that move on the edge of your peripheral vision? Is it because you expect them to be waiting, to be stronger than you and all the faith you have fostered over the decades? Is it because you imagine yourself to be utterly powerless? Where is your God? Who is it that rules your universe? And why does she have such limited influence over your life? Don’t you know, that fear is the biggest magnet in the universe, second only to love? Will you not sit down with…
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Stop Complaining About Your Marriage, Your Partner, Your Job, Being Broke. It’s Boring
Spare a thought for the friends who always listen to your same problems, over and over again.The problems you’re doing nothing to change.Spare a thought for the friends who constantly give you advice, that you never take.The friends who sit patiently whilst you rehash the same feelings and stories. For months, even years.It may not be fun living the experience. It’s also not fun listening to it, repeatedly, in slow motion.If you don’t have the strength, motivation or resources to change, that’s fine. Just admit it to yourself, and then change the subject.Talk about new problems if necessary.Give them…
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Solutions to Anxiety
There is a loop, a spiral that you will find yourself in.Up down.Down up.Only to find yourself back in the same place.Staring at the same future.Stuck, obsessing over the same past.Is it possible to step out/off/away from it?Yes.Yes it is.What have you tried?
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Are They Your Soulmate or Your Earthmate?
It can be difficult sometimes to have an in-depth conversation about relationships without the mention of soulmates. We hear a lot about them, these people with whom we have an inextricable connection, one that can’t be explained through the science or logic that so many of us rely on elsewhere in our lives. There’s a common desire in those of us wanting romantic relationships, to find this mate and become part of a seemingly unshakable union. What we think less about, is the reality of it. The reality that our soulmates, whether friends or lovers, are not always compatible with…
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What We Really Mean, When We Talk About Relationships
There’s nothing in your life that you don’t have a relationship with. I’m not usually one to use double negatives, but in this case it feels necessary. As does clarifying that the word relationship isn’t reserved for people and things you like and love, or even those you personally know or encounter on a daily basis. Put plainly, anything you come into contact with on your life journey, in any shape or form, is a thing you have a relationship to, in varying degrees. If we swap the term relationship and cut it right back to basics, what we’re really concerning ourselves with…
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See The Problem. Fix The Problem. Next
Working with me can feel like a rollercoaster. A smooth start, before I ask the one question that tips you over the edge. Then it’s fast, emotionally it’s bumpy and the minute you think you’re done, here comes another unexpected loop to scare the shit out of you.The loop you could only get to by coming this far on the track.The loop that could be bigger or smaller than your first, that one you thought was tough enough.The loop you know you have to go through, because it makes no sense to stop midair.And so you keep going, you cry,…
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It’s Not About Your Routine, it’s About Your Energy
Most of us have been conditioned to believe the main formula for success is hard work and commitment. We believe that by being stringent in our daily routines, it inevitably translates to a linear and direct trajectory to the desires we’re attempting to manifest. This thinking is applied to many and varied situations; date nights in our marriages, morning gym sessions, affirmation work, even down-time. On the outside our choices look productive, we’re accomplishing what we’ve told ourselves and others that we would. But what is actually happening, internally? There is a strong chance that some of the…
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The Patterns Working With You Are Teaching You What Needs to Be Healed
Your patterns will show up covered in diamonds, or they will come dressed in rags; whichever is the quickest way for you to recognise them. They will try everything possible to alert you to their presence and until you see them, you will be stuck exactly where you are. It may be one bad relationship after another, one disappointing job after another, one betrayal after another. They will keep returning. You have a deep and binding relationship with your patterns, whether you know it or not. And sometimes, these things holding you back, trying to teach you a lesson –…
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Your Intuition is an In-Built Business Strategy, Here is How to Use it
Strategy in large corporations is a necessity, an effective way to ensure teams are clear on the various components of a project. There is an often unquestioned requirement to map the logical route from idea to end product, know exactly why certain actions are being taken and spot any indicators predictive of missed deadlines, negative cost implications or client dissatisfaction. In corporations, second-guessing is built into the framework of how business operates. It’s safe; managers like it, new starters like it, people who enjoy covering their backs take comfort in it. But what if your total reliance on analytics is…
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3 Reasons Your Affirmations Aren’t Working
The affirmations industry is big. Huge. There are people all over the world staring into mirrors, talking to themselves and repeating how marvellous they are, how strong, capable and confident they are. There are millions of pounds being made by promoting this fake it till you make it approach and a very clear consumer hope that if they lie to themselves, loud and often enough, life will gradually get better and may one day even become amazing. There are some for whom this tactic really works, yes, a few words said each and everyday really is all that is keeping…
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Take Your Power Back
Who did you give it to? Who took it from you?What illness, what husband, lover, boss, friend, stranger?How desperately do you want to heal?How consumed are you, with never letting it happen again?How consumed are you with understanding how it happened, at all?Action.Your answers are in action.There are people who stay stuck where you are for years.For decades.Don’t be one of them.
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How You Act in Chaos is The Key to Your Peace
That person who doesn’t react as you expect them to.Who doesn’t cry when you, or the world, is drowning in tears.Who laughs because the irony and capriciousness of life presents itself again and again and again. In places you do not even know exist.Who weeps at joy instead of pain.Who stands back because they are already closer than you could ever imagine.Don’t judge them too harshly.They have worlds within them that will take you lifetimes to fathom.They have swum canyons of pain, until learning to float.Peace sits in the very centre of their chaos. And yours.They have reached through and…
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‘It’s Normal to Feel Anxiety Right Now, Isn’t it?’ Is NOT The Question to Ask Me
Rather ask yourself…Do I WANT to feel anxious?Is my anxiety serving me?Will I accept this anxiety, or work to remove/reduce it?Will I attempt to plan my life, or wait to be told when I’m allowed to?Am I connecting with what’s available OR with what’s helping?Certainty is always an illusion. It’s NOT certainty you need. It’s the power to know that whatever happens, you’ve got this.Clients, you know I’m not about to enable you.You know I’m not about to feed your current state. If I did, I would expect you to fire me.So, my compassion will not be demonstrated by diving…
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Yes, Trauma is a Gateway But You Can’t Take it With You
It’s true that many people experience their own spiritual awakenings in the aftermath of trauma. From a single life-changing incident, to the sudden implosion of a lifetime’s worth, trauma is a recognised gateway into the search for higher meaning. It’s the propelling force for some, to seek the purpose of existence and all manner of obligations that come with it. The irony of using traumatic experiences as catalysts however, is that as much as they crack you open, there’s a certain point on every journey where you have to let them go. It’s akin to bidding farewell to childhood and…
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Time Doesn’t Heal, it Integrates. And Integration is Not Always Healing
The passing of time does not erase your problems. It may bury them in reactions and patterns that help you to survive from day to day.But it does not heal experience, it integrates it.Rightly or wrongly, negatively or positively.Those experiences you never dealt with are still happening, right here, right now. Time isn’t linear, we simply organise it that way, so it makes sense.But healing doesn’t need to make sense.Healing is in recognising the symptoms that time has integrated and severing the roots perpetuating them.Healing works on the now, because the past is now. It never left.