The Library
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Pinned Post: What’s it Like Working With Me?
My coaching practice is built on more than offering you strategies or solutions. I’ve created it as a space for you to feel truly seen, held, and supported. It is the most important gift I can give to you. No one arrives wanting to find a better relationship, or reconnect with who they are, without it requiring a deep journey into the roots of themselves and their challenges. I simply do not offer behavioural change as a stand-alone outcome, and I don’t believe lasting change can occur without an approach that cares for the whole person. We focus on…
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Pinned Post: Come Find Me Where I Am (Part I)
This morning, I issued an invitation to the universe, for it to come find me where I am. I am not lost, I am simply here. I have known for a while that my biggest need, right now, is to remain in the present moment. It’s a need to hold a deep awareness, a genuine appreciation, for what is happening within my inner space, now. It has meant removing myself from social media, declining any distractions that come masquerading as entertainment, being clearer with boundaries. What I did today, during my meditation, was acknowledge my need to remove all…
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Misconceptions about therapy
One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that people come because they’re incapable of coping. In reality, people arrive because they’ve been coping for too long. I’ve sat with executives, parents and other therapists whose entire lives are built around functioning. These people can regulate rooms, lead teams, hold families together and make difficult decisions under enormous pressure, but privately they’re exhausted and overwhelmed. Therapy isn’t about being fixed, whether the presenting issue is burnout, relationship difficulties or addiction. In my practice it’s really about naming who or what you’ve become in order to survive your life. As humans…
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The Dangers of Spirituality
One of the most dangerous elements of spirituality is when it’s used as an escape from humanity, rather than a tool to better understand it. There are people who speak beautifully about consciousness and manifestation or divine purpose, all while being completely disconnected from grief, rage or fear. And what’s worse is they hold court to impressionable people, whilst quietly abandoning their own human emotions. I’ve seen clients become so focused on being ‘healed’ spiritually they forget the real-world work it must be built on. Solid spiritual foundations mean engaging fully with our mess, all our contradictions, ambivalence and fear.…
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Look Around You
Be mindful of what you ingest. The papers you skim, the books you read. The television shows, the news, the algorithm of desperate lives, subtly telling you that you are not enough, that you are not doing enough. Recheck your circle, ask yourself where there is still love, laughter, support, and where there is duty – no longer feeding your soul. Look to your plate, your cup, the once-loved and now-forgotten photos on your walls. Take time this weekend to notice, the world you are feeding, or forgetting to feed, to your soul.
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Here’s to the Degenerates, the Wanderers, the Survivors
Here’s to the souls forced to live under cover of darkness, filled with desires they cannot express, overflowing with needs daylight cannot soothe. Here’s to the 3-piece suitors, lunch hours on their knees, heeling to Madame X, travelling hidden and unspoken roads within themselves. Here’s to lives lived in shadows, in defiance of no life lived at all. Here’s to the good, obedient ones, who shred rules to pieces, who launch fireballs of abandon when no one is looking. Here’s to the embers that singe their ground, reminders of who they are, when unjudged and free. Here’s to the addicts,…
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Flow – April Oracle Reading
Flow. What’s meant for others is not always meant for you. The paths they take, down worn and trusted roads, will look more appealing than the overgrown and solitary one you are invited to walk. But the clearing will be immense, and many may follow where you have dared to lead.
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What’s wrong with me? vs. What do I need?
I couldn’t understand why when good things showed up, the gifts I had asked and wished for, they arrived arm-in-arm with shadows of overwhelm and fear. I couldn’t understand the anxious movements, the tightness in my chest. But what I did understand was my tools. So many tools. I used EFT to tap into the fear. NLP to travel deep, tracing old and warn paths, where maybe I had left stones unturned, trauma unearthed. I followed therapeutic routes into old truths – and lies – hoping to find something belonging to these new and pressing sensations. I tremored and I…
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When Healer and Hurt Co-exist
I’m a therapist and I have dark moods. I mean really dark moods. If someone were to walk into my therapy room showing the same disposition with which I am so familiar, I would immediately see red flags. There is no safeguarding muscle that would be satisfied until direct questions had been asked. ‘Are you thinking about harming yourself?’ ‘Who could you contact if things get worse?’ ‘What do you think has triggered you this time?’ Yes, I’m a therapist, and sometimes I too am my own worst enemy. This reflection is not about unprocessed trauma or hormonal imbalances;…
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It’s Not All Talk: How Energy Work Complements Therapy
In parts of the world where basic needs are met and therapeutic support has become less taboo, our understanding of wellness has evolved to acknowledge the mind-body connection. We recognise that good nutrition, regular movement and stress management are essential to mental health. We understand that emotional pain left unexpressed does not simply evaporate but can find its voice in the body. Stress, for example, is fluent in the language of cardiovascular issues, autoimmune disorders and digestive problems.[i] Even grief can be so profound that a body will shut down entirely. This is the intelligence that dances between body and…
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For the practitioners: Do you really need that session?
It’s easy to look for answers to your questions outside yourself, you’re conditioned to do so. In school the focus is largely on what you’re taught by others and what you can remember. You become used to a collective who has an opinion on your behaviour and Iife: teachers, career counsellors, pastoral care. By the time you get to work you’re adept at following the instruction of external authorities; line managers, heads of department, HR. It makes sense then, that when you embark on any kind of self-help or healing journey, one of the first things you’re going to do…